Even though I try
by Teona
Summary: Alternative Twilight. Edward resсues Bella. Being pulled to her like a magnet, he visits her at night while she's asleep. He doesn't avoid Bella and wants to be with her, but what will come out of it? M rated for sexual scenes in the future chapters.
1. Chapter 1 I just cant get you out of my

**Disclaimer: All belongs to SM. **

_**Great thanks to BringMeYourLove. She is my first reader and editor.**_

**_The plot and the characters are created in co-operation with imfubuki. Irit, your're the best! I love you so much._  
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**Summary: Alternative Twilight. Edward res****cues Bella. Being pulled to her like a magnet, he visits her at night while she's asleep. He doesn't avoid Bella and wants to be with her, but what will come out of it? Edward isn't so inaccessible. M rated for sexual scenes in the future chapters.**

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_Sonnet 147_

_My love is as a fever, longing still_  
_For that which longer nurseth the disease,_  
_Feeding on that which doth preserve the ill,_  
_Th'uncertain sickly appetite to please._  
_My reason, the physician to my love,_  
_Angry that his prescriptions are not kept,_  
_Hath left me, and I desperate now approve_  
_Desire is death, which physic did except._  
_Past cure I am, now reason is past care,_  
_And frantic mad with evermore unrest,_  
_My thoughts and my discourse as madmen's are,_  
_At random from the truth vainly expressed:_  
_For I have sworn thee fair, and thought thee bright,_  
_Who art as black as hell, as dark as night._

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**_Edward POV_**

The dark square of the window pulled me like a magnet. I wandered around the house, waiting for Bella to fall asleep. From time to time I listened to the worried thoughts of Charlie. _She is such an absent-minded and shy girl,_ he thought.

_Yes, she is_, I contemplated in response.

_And besides she seems to always get in some sort of mess._

_That's exactly it,_ I couldn't help but agree with him again.

_I hope she'll get used to a new school and make friends soon. Well, Mike Newton is not a bad guy, for one._

I quietly growled. I really didn't like Charlie's current thoughts. The picture that was drawn by his mind, Mike just held Bella's hand, I was overwhelmed by the wave of irrational hatred for the guy.

_My daughter's growing up, _Swan was continuing his thoughts.

I caught a wave of the embarrassment that was coming from him. _It's so difficult to be a father of a young girl. It was much easier when she was a little child ..._

Every summer, Bella spent several weeks at her father's place, but she had no idea how carefully Swan kept in his heart every minute that he spent with his daughter. I loved those memories.

They were light and pleasant, sometimes sad, sometimes comic, but there was my Bella, and I didn't want to miss a single day of her life. Closing my eyes, I immersed myself in Charlie's memories.

The shadows of the trees were gradually thickening and moving closer to the house. The moon hid behind the clouds, making the dark night even duskier. Finally, I heard calm, regular breathing from Bella's window.

A minute later I was sitting in my favorite rocking chair in her room, admiring her beautiful face and pale skin, hair flared on the pillow. Having lodged that image in my memory, I prepared to close my eyes and sigh, enjoying her scent. I began getting used to the refined torture mixed with the pleasure. My throat was covered with the wonted pain, and my lungs were filled with the divine smell, covering me, awakening an unexplored desire in me. I took a deep breath and at this moment Bella turned toward me.

The blanket slipped a little bit, showing a snow-white shoulder and the thin strap of her nightgown. I gasped and tried to squeeze my mouth with my hand to block the flow of the air into my throat. In the moonlight, her shoulder looked like a pearl, and I could see the heaving of her breast under the blanket. My imagination helpfully depicted everything that was hidden from my eyes.

The desire to enjoy her swept over me like a wave. It was almost as painful as the unbearable thirst for blood, and it was new to me.

I was not able to restrain it. I didn't know how to overcome it. On the spur of the moment, my muscles made a move, and I almost darted away. At that moment, I realized more than ever that if I only touched her, I wouldn't be able to stop myself.

Concentrating all my will, I sat back in the chair and closed my eyes again. I stopped breathing, feeling, hearing. I had been learning to restrain the thirst for many decades. It was a hard task, but not an impossible one. Unlike the passion... I could not restrain that. The passion caught me with my pants down. My heart, which had stopped long ago, now was beating madly. An icy blood was rushing through my veins with frightening, overwhelming speed. Images, flashing through my head, made my cold skin flare from the fever.

"Go away, Edward, immediately!" I ordered myself. "Go away, before your body stops obeying your mind."

I slowly opened my eyes and the scream froze in my throat. In the dark room, Bella was lying with opened eyes, staring at me without any panic. She got up from her bed and came close to me. The silk outlined her slim figure.

"Edward Cullen," she said sadly, and in her voice I heard a pinch of reproach. "I'm dreaming of you again ... "

**_Bella POV_**

I had this weird dream again. He kept examining me in that dream. As always, only two characters: Edward Cullen and I. More precise - his eyes. Dark eyes that I saw at our first meeting. Those eyes sunk deep into my heart. That is why I began dreaming about them every night. At first, it was scary, but now I'm used to it, even waiting for his eyes in my dreams.

I threw off the corner of my blanket, got up and slowly came closer to the motionless figure in the chair.

"Edward Cullen, I'm dreaming of you again," I reproached him.

It was uncomfortable to look down at him and I kneeled in front of him.

"Why don't you leave me alone? Why are you haunting me even in my dreams? I can't hide from you," I whispered.

My questions remained without answer. The face of my dreams hadn't changed. I wanted to touch him so much, to get answers from this motionless statue. He remained an unfathomable mystery even in dreams, the strange, silent classmate watching me on the sly.

I stretched my hands to him, put them on his knees and lay my head on them. It looked like it was my speechless entreaty.

"Every single day, at school, on the way, at home, everywhere... you are following me. I cannot stop thinking of you. Edward Cullen, who are you? Why do you torment me? What do you imagine of yourself? "

I stopped abruptly, feeling his opened palm on my head. Edward began to caress my auburn wisps fondly.

"Do I suffer you?"

He sighed faintly.

"Yes, you do." I shook my head discomposedly. "You're so far away and close all at once. You're a mystery that I can't figure out. Your behavior... I don't know what to make of it."

I straightened up and suddenly his face was so close to mine. Black eyes, like night storm clouds, without blinking, were penetrating my soul. I felt a shiver from the cold. I was looking for warmth. I searched but didn't find any. Putting my hands on his cheeks, I felt the cold hardness of the granite under my fingers.

In my dream Edward frowned and tried to distance himself from me.

"Wait," I breathed quickly, rising to my feet, but not letting his face out of my hands. "I want to-"

The words did not slip out from my lips. This was just a dream - I reminded myself. Shaking my head and waking from a stupor, I leaned and pressed my lips to his strained mouth.

I guided my tongue over his compressed lips, trying to penetrate above the adamant line. Edward remained motionless, but suddenly began shaking like a leaf in the wind. His hands painfully gripped my shoulders, slid to my waist and with a yank sat me on his lap. His lips relaxed, but didn't let me in; instead, his cold tongue burst into my mouth.

I gasped with amazement and delight. Kissing in my dream was a very enjoyable experience. His hands like a stone ring gripped my waist and pulled me closer. I was almost lying on Edward's chest. His tongue roaming into my mouth caressed my lips, touched the roof of my mouth, easily gliding over the teeth.

I felt giddy, as if I drank champagne. Tiny bubbles of pleasure tickled me, running over my body, joining into a growing point between my legs. Oh, it was a very naughty dream!

Edward turned away from my lips with a dim groan. "You are so sweet."

"Not sweeter than you."

I wanted to overtake his lips again, but wherever I inclined my head, no matter how I reached to them, I could not touch. Apparently something was escaping from my sight. Well, evidently, moments of pleasure are given in small portions, even in dreams.

Smiling at these thoughts, I got up and went back to my bed.

"Till tomorrow," I whispered with hope closing my eyes.

Only five minutes later I heard his whisper, "Yes."


	2. Chapter 2 It is only a matter of time

**Disclaimer: All belongs to SM.**

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**Chapter 2. It is only a matter of time**

**_Edward POV_**

"Edward Cullen, I'm dreaming of you again." I heard an undisguised rebuke in her voice.

She slowly knelt in front of me. I heard the whisper of the blood running through her veins, the sound of her pulse; her scent drove me crazy. Bella was too close to me, and all my instincts were screaming about the danger.

I could hardly control my feelings, and Bella didn't make the problem any easier. As if there wasn't enough danger to which she exposed herself just by staying with me in the bedroom, Bella put her hands on my knees and lay her head on them. The heat of her body burned me through the thin clothing. My mind was in panic mode, looking for the way to stop thinking about the amazing melody her blood was singing for me. All I wanted was to not feel her intoxicating smell. It was so unbearable it was causing me pain. There was a bush of silky brown hair before my eyes, and I wanted so badly to touch it.

"Just one touch," begged the voice inside of me. "Just one touch and then you'll go away, so as not to play the devil with her."

My hand lifted, then froze in hesitation.

"Do I suffer you?" I whispered. Such a meaningless question! What else can I bring into her life, except the menace?

"Yes, you do." She said.

Suddenly Bella straightened, and her lips were just in front of mine. She put her hand on my face ... and my body rebelled. I wanted so much to hold her close to my side, press my lips to hers with a gentle kisses, feel the silk of her pale skin beneath my fingers, to tear off her clothes, bite my teeth into her throat ... I groaned, pulling back from her. Are these two desires inseparable? Will I ever be able to touch Bella without putting her at risk?

"Wait," she whispered hurriedly. "I want to-"

I didn't have to read her thoughts to understand what she wanted.

She bent over me and pressed her lips against my own. My body refused to obey my mind. Every second Bella's kiss captivated me more and more, bringing me closer to the abyss. I grabbed Bella and held her closer, so close that it seemed I hurt her. My tongue slipped into her hot mouth, and I was lost in time and even in space.

I was captured by crazy, vivid sensations, which were new to me. The thirst of blood had gone away somewhere in the distance. Now I was drowned by human instincts only. And it was unbearably perfect.

I eventually managed to collect myself. Bella couldn't figure out how this came to almost ending her. But I knew. I knew that my willpower was melting away. I was helpless to stop the second kiss. I understood it clearly. That's why there was no chance for the second kiss.

Bella smiled as she got up from my knees and headed to her bed. Having stopped to feel her weight, my body responded by an unexpected ache of loss.

"Till tomorrow," she whispered softly, covering herself with the blanket.

I kept quiet for a long time, looking at her in the dark.

"Yes. Till tomorrow," I answered at last, though I understood that I shouldn't have promised such.

I spent the end of the night wandering around the field. I needed to make up my mind. I loved Bella, but I could hardly imagine that she had feelings for me, until that night.

I squinted at the happiness, allowing this thought to catch me for a moment. She likes me, too. And this was the most delightful thing that could happen. The most exciting. The most wrong. I could offer her nothing. But even that wasn't the point. I heard about people whose blood sings for us. I've heard, but didn't believe in it, and now it had happened to me.

Bella's blood sang for me and there was no any way to resist this song. I was the most dangerous thing for Bella, more than anything or anybody in the world. According to Emmett, it was only a matter of time before I lost my control. It had already happened twice with him and both times it had ended the same way.

I have to leave Bella, lest it get out of control. Bella Swan and I are impossible. I even couldn't be her friend. It's time to put an end to my madness.

As soon as the day broke, the decision was made. Heading to school, I was strong with my determination. It would be better for us not to socialize at all.

The first lesson was Biology, where I was supposed to share the desk with Bella. This promised to be a real trial by fire. When I entered the classroom, her place was empty. I suddenly felt sorry for her; certainly Bella would blush on her way to our desk after the lesson begins. Yes, she was too shy. Though Bella wasn't late, she simply missed Biology. I was a bit surprised. She unexceptionally attended all the lessons until today. The second was Math, which we were studying in different classes. I went to the lesson with a sigh, hoping to see her during the break. But she didn't show, even in the cafeteria. I was worried this time. Did she really miss all the lessons? It was more than strange.

I began to listen to the thoughts of my classmates, hoping to understand where Bella was, but nobody knew. My resolve melted away like the first snow. I was mad and lost myself in conjectures. By the end of the fourth lesson I gave way.

"I'll move your car," Alice said to my unvoiced question.

I took a grateful slant at my sister and made a dart out of the school. Crossing the parking lot, I moved unbearably slowly, like a usual human, but as soon as the school building disappeared at the turning, I ran. Ten minutes later I was at her place and stopped in hesitation. There was Charlie's car near the house. Chief Swan was at home? What had happened?

"Dad," Bella said softly, almost in a whisper, "Please, go back to the station. It's just the fever."

"How come? Just the fever?" Charlie's voice sounded panicked. "I'm going to call Renee."

"Dad, I beg you, just calm down." She seemed to be getting angry. "And don't even think of calling my mother! Do you hear me? Now I'll take a pill and go back to bed. I'm not a child anymore, and I can look after myself. That's all, please, Dad, go!" She almost pushed her father out the door. "I want to lie down."

"If you say so... okay-okay." Charlie gave in without a struggle. "But I'll come back soon," he shouted, starting the car.

I heard the stairs creak under Bella's feet as she made it to her room. Then she went to the window, wrapped herself in a blanket, and shut the window. I could see her face only a fraction of the time. I forgot how fragile the human body was and how easy it gave in to diseases. It seemed as if her features sharpened and she looked paler than usually, although it was just a game of my imagination multiplied by the concern for Bella. I understood it clearly, but at the same time my heart ached painfully for her. I just hid in the shade of trees so that it was impossible to see me from the house or from the road and immersed myself with the waiting.

It seemed it would be much harder than I expected. I was unable to stick it out even one day without her.

Breaking all promises I'd given to myself a thousand times, I found my way into her room.

Today, Bella seemed so frail and defenseless; she was thrashing in bed with a fever. I approached her to lay my hand on her forehead quietly and gently.

"Cold," she whispered plaintively ...

**_Bella POV_**

My strange dream mysteriously overflowed into calmer ones. I didn't dream about Edward Cullen until the morning. The warble of my alarm that awakened me was still ringing. I put out my hand, fumbled for the bedside table searching for the noisemaker, but didn't find it. I got up with a heavy sigh.

My head was spinning; my body ached as if I had been trying to fight with a storm in the ocean.

I won the fight with the envelope of blankets and shivered from cold, then stumbled to the bathroom. Washing and brushing my teeth, I thought about my dream. They say that at night the unconscious takes our secret thoughts and desires through the sub-cortex. There was no doubt that Edward Cullen sparked deep thoughts for me, but I didn't expect such bright and realistic dreams. And he behaved in them friendlier than in everyday life.

Remembering the kiss, I touched my lips with the fingertips, evoking feelings in my mind. Tenderness, perseverance, gentleness, gallantry, passion, strength and desire. I wondered how Edward kissed in the real life... Would it be as good as the kiss that I envisioned to myself?

Sighing heavily, I dragged myself down to the kitchen. Yes, perhaps, I would never have a chance to compare the kisses from my dream and the real touch of his lips.

The pulse in my head was growing with every step. Finishing my way down the stairs, I limply leaned against the wall. What was wrong with me? I pushed myself off and went to the kitchen. The fog in my mind didn't melt away. I shook my head trying to get rid of it, but it was still just as confused.

I opened and slammed the fridge. The food and its smell turned my stomach.

I pressed my palm to my heated forehead. I was running a temperature. Hesitating for a moment, I came to the conclusion that school was canceled today for me. Taking two aspirin, I decided to go back to my room. Climbing back up the stairs took my last bit of energy away. With a heavy sigh, I crashed on my bed and snuggled in blankets.

In the middle of the day my father came home. I had to make an effort to push Charlie out of my room, assuring him that everything was fine.

Whipping a blanket from the bed, I wrapped up in it and went to the window. The gusts of cool air were entering the room and tree branches in front of the window were creaking sadly, even mournfully.

I hated being ill. I lowered the frame and returned to my bed. I was finally able to fall asleep.

My head was filled with bright flashing images, but my quiet dream was sliding into a strange nightmare. Suddenly I found myself in the water. The gulf picked up and whirled me closer to the bottom. I tried to scream, but salt water gushed into my mouth. Floundering like an ill-fated ship, I tried to come up to the surface. When I was ready to give up, someone's strong arms caught me and pulled me out of the storm water. I clung to my rescuer, trembling and frightened. Edward Cullen was looking at me with a frown. His expression was grim. His brows were knit together, his lips were compressed, and eyes were flashing lightning, as if he wasn't happy that he had saved me.

An ice cold froze me. I wanted to cry, plead with Edward to warm me - but no word would come from my mouth. And he was as cold as ice.

Edward from my dream, as if he could read my thoughts, covered my lips with his mouth. The gentle kiss grew into a passionate fighting. Kissing him, I didn't close my eyes and kept looking at his frowning face and tightly shut eyelids. The internal conflict was readable on his beautiful face.

Suddenly, his lips left my mouth, pushing my body away. His face had a determined expression. He unclasped his hands, and I plunged into the raging waves again.

"No!" I cried, but indifferent Edward didn't hear me.

And here I was going down again, too tired to resist, and again the strong hands picked me up and threw me back into the ocean ... over and over ... again and again ...

Cruel ...

Cold ...


	3. Chapter 3 Feels like a feeling meant to

_**Disclaimer: All belongs to SM.**_

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**_Chapter 3. Feels like a feeling meant to be_**

**_Edward POV_**

I immediately jerked back my hand; Bella seemed so helpless, so fragile. She was moaning because of the high fever and raved every now and again. She definitely was sick. There was something wrong in this situation, but I couldn't understand what it was specifically. Of course, as a vampire, I have never been ill, but it happens with humans all the time.

But Bella seemed to be too sick for a simple cold. She looked as if she hadn't gotten out of bed throughout the whole week. This wasn't cold, it was something much more serious.

My first impulse was to grab Bella in my arms and dart to Carlisle with her. My father, the doctor, could help. But it was impossible. I had to go home alone, hoping to describe the symptoms to my father accurately enough for his diagnosis.

The trip back to my house took me less than half an hour. I'd never run so fast. I broke into the house and ran upstairs, two at a time, like a whirlwind. As I reached the second floor, I dropped into a walk and knocked on the door before entering my father's sanctum.

"Is everything okay, Edward?" My father felt my worries immediately. Only then I realized that this talk would be much harder than I thought.

It was intimate, and I didn't want to let anyone into my private affairs, even Alice, but it was impossible to keep secrets from her. I closed my eyes, composing my mind.

"Father, I met a girl ... her blood sings for me." Carlisle frowned, but kept silent. So, I continued. "I think I can keep a grip on myself, because ... I kind of have feelings for her," the words were hard to find. "She's ill and her illness seems a little bit strange to me. Her temperature has gone up today, but she looks too exhausted to fight it."

Carlisle slowly walked around the desk and stood in front of me.

"Edward, you are anxious for nothing. It sounds like an ordinary cold. We are in Forks after all," he said quietly. "I bet your girlfriend will be at school tomorrow."

"She isn't my girlfriend," I corrected him automatically.

Carlisle smiled.

"Edward, do you remember Rano from Belgium?" he asked me suddenly.

"I do."

"Some time ago we were very close friends. He had a fiancée. Her name was Layra. He killed her almost right off, during their first night together, because he was unable to cope with the temptation to mix the two highest pleasures: the last favour and the taste of her blood. He even felt no regret killing her; he was self-absorbed in his new powers: strength, speed and beauty. All that made him almost the most powerful vampire in Europe. No, he didn't feel anything at that time ... The pain came later, in one, or maybe even two hundred years. It came along with the feeling of loneliness when he realized that he never loved anybody except Layra. Yes, women loved him, they were mad about him, and he even kept some of them alive, but he ... he didn't ... love anyone. The dead heart doesn't know how to love; it can't beat in the chest with happiness or die away with tenderness. His body died when he became a vampire. But his heart died when he killed Layra. He just realized it too late."

Carlisle went silent, not a sound was heard in the room, and it seemed I could touch this silence with my hand. And suddenly everything clicked into place. Yes, Rano realized his fault too late. But I won't repeat his mistakes. I had already lived my hundred years of loneliness. I also never loved anybody...until now...

By some absurd chance, I fell in love with the girl whose blood was sweeter than the blood of any other person for me. This fact complicated my "life," but nothing was changed. My body was craving her blood; my heart was longing her soul. I wouldn't let the monster inside of me shut me out from love. I scarified too many things in my being for the sake of the life that I didn't choose. But I wasn't ready to make this last immolation.

Bella Swan was the other half of my non-existent soul. I wanted to be by her side all her passing human life. And I'd fight for this right to be near her, even if I have to fight with myself.

"I'm not Rano, father," I said slowly and sternly. "I won't give up. I want to be with Bella, and I know I have enough strength to do it."

"Well," Carlisle lifted his hands in dismay, "there are some things that you should know in this case. Sex is only a prelude to the feast for most of us, Edward."

"Father," I interrupted him. I will never discuss this subject with anyone, even him.

"Wait, Edward, just listen to me. During the hunting, our body produces venom. What do you know about it?"

"It's a deadly poison for humans, it prevents the blood clotting, providing at the same time long-termed bleeding. It's a catalyst for the transformation of human into a vampire."

"It's not exactly correct," he said. "It depends on how much poison and how it finds the way into the human body. In nature, everything is very logical, all working for the only goal - to help the creature survive. Vampires are no exception. We must kill to "live." Nature has taken care of simplifying this problem for us. The poison is one of the strongest allies for us. It doesn't make harm, but completely denies a victim a chance to resist, getting in the body through a kiss for the first time."

"I didn't know that, Carlisle," I whispered in amazement.

"Of course, you can't know about it. Few of us know." Carlisle smiled gravely. "As a rule, the beloved of vampires die before the dawn. Before you come to a decision, you must understand clearly - if you cross the line and lose control, allow yourself to relax even for a moment, your body will start hunting. If it happens, Edward, you'll kill Bella. Well, now you know everything. I'll support you in any decision which you'll make."

I caught up with Alice at the exit of the house.

"Do not even think of buying gifts for her," she spoke in singsong. "Bella will get mad at you."

"Alice, I haven't yet decided anything!" I didn't even know if I was embarrassed or angry with my sister.

"Okay-okay," she said. The picture which flashed in her mind for a moment could make me blush, if it ever was possible.

Most of all I loved the night woods. The earth after the rain smells of the freshness. There wasn't a moon tonight, though it didn't stop me, I could see perfectly in the dark. Wandering around the forest was such a pleasure. Animals were feeling the danger and didn't come close to me, and I could easily enjoy my solitude, concentrating on my own thoughts.

The decision was made, and everything straightened out. I knew exactly what to do, but a lot of questions were spinning in my head.

Will Bella permit my attentions or disallow me as well as the others? How far can I go with her? How far will she be ready to go with me? Does she know the truth about me? About my family?

All these questions loomed with no response, because I had to find the answer to the most important and difficult question: Do I have enough strength to stop in time? I have enough strength.

The existence of my soul was in doubt while the existence of my heart - never. I have been living without a heart for many years and having gotten it back now. I will protect it as well as possible. My heart began to leap because of Bella, and my heart belonged to her.

**_Bella POV_**

Cold. It was very cold. My body seemed numb; I couldn't escape from the grip of the icy shackles of my dream. My mind refused to obey me. Probably, I realized for the first time, we can't rule in our dreams; they usually take control over us.

In my subconscious, I wanted Edward Cullen to be next to me as long as possible. That's why my dreams reproduced this image over and over again.

By the end of the second day of my illness, the warmth gradually replaced the cold; I was thawing. A sad melody began to play quietly somewhere. I distinctly heard every single note. Bells were getting closer.

I opened my eyes and turned to the sound. A small music box stood on the table. The top was thrown back.

"Hmm, such a gorgeous tune."

At that time the melody has slowed down and came to its logical end. For a second the music stopped and then started playing the second time.

I frowned. How did this music box get on my desk? I got out of bed and came to look at the little box. I never had such nice antique things.

The neat hexagon was made of silver with a touch of small gemstones. I turned the box in my hands. The last stream of the setting sun came into my bedroom through the window, sparkling on the surface of the music box and making each crystal send a sheaf of sparks in all directions.

Inside, the box was lined with pale pink tissue. There was another crystal in the box. It was a heart-shaped pendant. I took and weighed it on my palm carefully. Cold crystal seemed to burn my skin.

"How did it get here?" The question was rhetorical.

I placed the "crystal-heart" back into the music box and slammed the top, causing the melody to stop short. Carrying the small box wrapped in a fold of clothes, I left the bedroom.

Charlie was watching baseball as usual. On my way to the kitchen, I peered into the living room.

"Dad, while I was asleep, did anybody come?"

He looked over his shoulder. "No. Why? Are you waiting for somebody?"

"No, just asking. I thought I heard the noise of the car driving up to the house." As I made up a reason, I realized it sounded false. I quickly shifted the conversation to another topic. "Did you have dinner?"

"An hour ago. What about you? Go and have something to eat. Do you feel better?"

"Much." I wasn't lying this time, my mood really improved.

I took the chill off the vegetable stew and began eating. I put the music box on the table in front of me. I couldn't keep my eyes off it. It seemed as if I was trying to hypnotize it, and the music box could tell me about her mysterious owner. Apparently, I was now the owner of this little thing, which stubbornly kept silent.

I began to do my homework after dinner since I was feeling back to normal, and I was going to go to school the next day. While I was carefully writing the letters in my right hand in my lecture notes, my left hand was resting on the top of the music box. The metal pleasantly cooled my hand while the gems slightly tingled my palm.

Getting ready to go to bed, I again threw up the top of the small box. Sad, plangent melody, which had already won my heart, redoubled over the room. Deciding to change into something lighter than flannel pajamas, which I had pulled on in the morning to warm up, I shed my clothes.

My eye lighted on a heart-shaped pendant. The decision came suddenly. I rushed to look for a thin silver chain in the depths of my table. Having found it, I hung the "heart" on it and went to the mirror to clasp the chain up around my neck. The lightweight pendant laid on top of my chest. Touching it with the tips of my fingers, I lovingly stroked its smooth surface and admired it in front of the mirror. I was going to go to the dresser to find a clean nightgown as one last glance at the mirror over my shoulder made me stop. There were several bruises on both sides of my waist. I traced the marks gently and tested the bruises with slight pressure.

"Whoo." I didn't feel any pain; the exclamation escaped from my mouth because of the surprise.  
I stepped back to the mirror and was looking at these dark spots for a few minutes. The bruises were quite new, though they already began to darken.

I searched my memory for the last few days, though I was sure I didn't hit my back. And where on earth did I get them?

"Whoo," I blurted out again. There was only one explanation for their sudden and mysterious origin. Too tight hugs.

But nobody touched me, didn't take in their arms and squeeze me painfully in a friendly embrace.

"Oh!" Yes, nobody touched me, except Edward in my dream.

Now it looked like some kind of stupid mysticism. I dressed in my nightshirt and sat on the bed, trying to collect my thoughts.

"No-no-no." I shook my head.

I didn't understand anything. This was hard to take in. How? How was it possible? Was my dream actually real? Or was it a dream at all?

And what did it all mean?

First, did we kiss? Second, how couldn't I distinguish reality from fiction? Third, how did Edward come into my bedroom? And the most important question: why on earth did he come in my bedroom? Unbelievable! Inconceivable! Unreal!

I fell back on the pillows and laid my hand over my eyes.

"Oh, Lord! I'm going to go mad."

Something touched my neck. I removed my hand from my eyes and brought the small thing up to look. The crystal heart. There were only questions and no answers in my head.

With a deep sigh I wrapped up in a blanket and tried to call a dream to my tired, tormented mind.

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The first lesson was Biology. Excellent. So, I wasn't going to suffer until the noon recess. I deliberately came in the classroom and marched to my desk, where Edward was waiting for me.

"Good morning, Bella" he greeted me. As always, his velvet voice caused trembling in my body and my heart sped up. "You were not at school for two days. Decided to make your own holidays?"

I laid textbooks and my notes on the table with double care. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that Edward didn't move his gaze from me while waiting for an answer.

I slowly turned my face toward him. "Hi."

Edward shifted his gaze on my chest, where an elegant crystal-heart shined. Then he met my eyes. The expression on his face hadn't changed, but his eyes ...

"Nice little thing," he said at last.

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	4. Chapter 4 Rid my pain

_**Disclaimer: All belongs to SM.**_

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**Chapter 4. Rid my pain**

**_Edward POV_**

I spent the next night in her room again. She was still sick. Bella had a troubled sleep, but didn't wake up. I got so used to coming here that it was second nature to me, a habit. Feasting my eyes on sleeping Bella, I loved to sink into my memories and dreams. She awoke my long-forgotten human side.

From my human life I've kept a few things, among them a small music box. Once I chose it for my mother with special care. I was supposed to present it for her birthday. But I didn't have chance to give it to her, because cruel disease had destroyed my family.

So, the music box had been watching for change. I decided to give Bella this little thing, which was a piece of my human side. But I remembered, when I was a child, my mother told me that empty boxes and purses weren't given as presents. It is a popular belief that empty boxes and purses bring bad luck. They say - seven years without luck. But what does it mean for a vampire? Seven years are nothing. But for a human...

The superstitious vampire. Hmm... That was interesting!

Anyway, to fill it, I wanted to add something from my present life to it. Something meaningful.

The idea that I could buy something for her made me happy. Alice was in charge of buying gifts in our family, so having received her clear instructions about the stores, I set off to Port Angeles.

I never knew what a pleasant experience it was - looking for gifts. Though, to tell the truth, my enthusiasm noticeably declined closer to lunchtime. I wandered around luxurious shops and small ones, but couldn't find what I was looking for. Frankly, I didn't know what I was actually searching for. I'd say none of the jewelry was what I wanted.

Towards the evening, the rain suddenly decided to cover up the sun, and I had to make a dive into a dark alley at the end of the street. It was towards there that I saw a little shop. It was inconspicuous and easy to miss. There were different things in the shop window. Entering the shop I went to the stand with the music albums in order to wait away the time. Surprisingly, they had a decent collection of jazz.

"Can I help to you?" the shop girl asked with a smile, walking towards me. She held a small metal tray which was encumbered by small items.

Suddenly, somewhere in the depths of this mass, a glaring ray of light was shining, like a priceless diamond among worthless fakes. I reached out and gently freed a small clear pendant from under the mass of jewelry. At the very moment when I touched it, I knew that this was exactly what I was looking for. The small crystal-heart seemed warm compared to my hand.

The next day Bella didn't come to school again, and I rushed to her house after lessons. She was sleeping.

I sat down on the floor beside her bed, looking at her face. Her cheeks were rosy with the glow of health, and her breathing was measured and calm. She probably felt better, and most likely, I would see Bella at school tomorrow.

Her room was lit up by the last rays of the sun. She began to wake up from the bright light. As always, I didn't have enough time to be beside her. With a heavy sigh, I threw back the top of the music box and jumped out the window.

On the third day, she finally showed up at school. The first lesson was Biology. Bella came into the classroom and started for our desk with a decisive air.

"Good morning, Bella." I tried to make my voice sound as friendly as possible. "You were not at school for two days. Did you decide to take your own holiday?"

Bella slowly turned her face toward me and said hi. The crystal-heart sparkled on her chest. It seemed that it was my heart, so cold and silent, which was gleaming. And what was most important, my heart finally found its place.

I was overwhelmed by the storm of emotions. It was difficult to keep my voice sound calm.

"That's nice," I said slowly, looking into her eyes. She seemed embarrassed. Touching the pendant on her chest with her hand, Bella put the crystal-heart to her lips. I'd forgotten to breath.

"I like it too," she said under her breath finally.

"Why were you absent?" I decided to return to a safer path.

"It's strange that you even noticed my absence," she answered, lowering her voice, still not taking her hands off the pendant.

"Bella." I tried to make my voice persuasive. "Can I offer you a truce?"

She stared at me in question. "A truce?"

"Yes, I admit that I was impolite to you, perhaps even rude. I promise to turn over a new leaf and suggest you to have dinner with me tonight as a first step."

Bella raised her eyebrows. Why was she surprised? Isn't it normal for a human to ask a girl out for a date to a restaurant?

"Miss Swan," the voice of Mr. Bennet was heard in the silence, "if you're talking about something important, would you like to inform all of us about the subject of your conversation?"

Bella blushed red.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bennet," I rushed to the rescue.

Bella looked at me gratefully.

"In this case, Mr. Cullen, will you do us a courtesy of moving to another desk? I hope this will help you and Miss Swan to focus on our lesson."

I moved to another seat grudgingly. Damn! I couldn't tell if Bella agreed or not. What if my indifference hurt her so badly that she wouldn't be able to find the strength to forgive me? The time was hanging heavy.

Until the end of the lesson, I had fun listening to my classmates' thoughts, trying not to think about Bella. All the girls wondered what I found so appealing in Bella, enough to make me talk to her and have to move. As soon as the dismissal bell rang, I rushed towards Bella.

"You didn't answer me—"

"About what?" she asked.

"About having dinner with me."

Her face indicated her utter disbelief, as if everything that I said forty minutes ago was now null.

"I agree," she said finally.

I felt a weight lift off my mind. "I'll pick you up at six p.m., okay?"

"Okay," she answered, still hesitant.

I was deliriously happy. "Well, till evening?" I smiled at her and went down the hall, forcing myself with difficulty to move at a normal human pace.

**_Bella POV_**

"So, what shall I wear?" I stood in front of an opened closet, sorting through the hangers. "A shirt, a deep-green sweater, a shirt, a deep-gray sweater, one more shirt and a deep-blue sweater, jeans, jeans, jeans..."

I froze. I wondered where Edward would take me. To a cafe or a restaurant?

Having decided not to take any chances, I engrossed myself again in searching for a suitable dress. Finally, I grabbed a simple lilac dress from the depths of the closet. It was appropriate for a cafe as well as for a more expensive restaurant.

My mom said that lilac was the color of depression and apathy, but I couldn't agree with her. I liked all of the shades of lilac. Looking closer at my dress, I saw that there were some hints of burgundy on it. Because of it, the fabric acquired the color of the twilight sky just before the sunset on an evening of rain or a strong wind.

I put the dress against my body, running my fingers along the smooth silk. Reaching exactly to my knees, the dress was a pleasant fit, but at the same time didn't hinder my movements. There was a pleated underskirt, peeking an inch from a lower hem, that emphasized my legs.

While I was getting dressed, I was looking at the clock. It was almost six p.m. Should I linger a little bit? No, those kinds of tricks were uncharacteristic of me. Before leaving my bedroom, I lifted the music box from the table impulsively and put it into my purse. I decided to take it as little talisman; perhaps, today I would need it if I wanted to get answers to at least some of my questions.

Charlie hadn't come back from the station; he was probably delayed by work. I scrawled a note to him, promising not to be late.

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We were quiet for almost the entire ride. It didn't bother us, though. We exchanged comments about songs playing on the radio, and our preferences in music and the latest films. These were just neutral topics.

Under my feigned composure, a real storm raged. In the narrow space of the passenger compartment I felt the closeness of Edward with each nerve-ending.

Someone was singing on the radio. "We all are just the dust in the wind… nothing lasts forever, but earth and sky, that life slips away and all your money won't another minute buy."

Edward's strong hands, casually lying on the handlebar, couldn't avoid my gaze. I could hardly look away, and the memories of his hugs overwhelmed me. It seemed that I could still feel as if Edward hugged me, pulling closer, and I was almost lying on him, and only my thin nightshirt and his clothes were a barrier between our bodies. I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks.

"It's hot in here, don't you think?" I started fanning myself with my hand, trying to regain the normal color to my cheeks.

Edward adjusted the temperature. "Is this okay?"

_It was you. I know it wasn't a dream_, my strained nerves shouted. Instead I said, "Yes, thank you."

Finally, we arrived at the restaurant. As soon as we entered, I wanted to turn around and run out of the door. Frankly, I felt queasy about this place, especially when I saw the prices of the offered dishes.

I was sitting and looking through the menu, glancing out the window every once in a while. The table where we were sitting was near the window, which had a nice view of a meadow that was bathed in the light of old lanterns. There was a pond with a shimmering moon-glade. The calm surface of the pond reflected the surrounding nature; sad willows on the far side were pensively stroking the watery waste of the lake with its branches. I returned to the menu, turning the pages meaninglessly, searching for something that was easy on the pocket. I looked at Edward.

"Have you already chosen?"

"No," he replied and reached for the menu. "Don't you like this restaurant?" Edward asked me suddenly.

"Not that I don't like it, but I don't like being here," I started cautiously. "It's just that, I'm afraid this place is more than I can afford."

His face expressed bewilderment.

"Bella, I offer a compromise," Edward said it slowly, as if he was choosing words carefully. "I'll always pay for dinner, but you'll always choose a place to go, okay?"

I repeated senselessly after him, not taking my eyes from his, as if hypnotized. I still had not been able to guess their color. They were something between dark amber and pale ocher, the eyes of a predator. My hand reached instinctively to my new jewelry. My fingers gripped a cold crystal.

"What does it mean to you?"

_And what does it mean to you?_ I wanted to ask him.

"I've never seen it on you before," he tried to put on an indifferent mask, but his eyes betrayed him.

"You speak as if everything I have has meaning to you, even the jewelry that I wear." I stared at him, not taking my eyes away.

_It was you. Just confess_. The thought pulsated in my head. "I found it in the music box, which appeared in my room, as if by magic, while I was sick. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it?"

"Not at all." Edward drew up closer to me, but kept silent.

What did I expect? That he just confess that he was in my bedroom, kissed me, held in his arms with such a force that it left some bruises on my overly sensitive skin? I barely averted my gaze from him. A movement near the restaurant entrance caught my attention.

"Look, it seems that Alice and Emmett are joining us."

Edward nodded. "They have not noticed us; maybe we won't notice them either?"

"Okay, then," I said wonderingly. Edward's mood changed drastically in inexplicable fashion. He frowned.

"Edward, what happened?" I laid my palm over his hand. _How cold!_

"Let's go?"

"Well," I muttered not realizing what was going on. Edward threw some money on the table, laid his palm on my back and gently shepherded me to the exit.

"But we even didn't place our orders..." I whispered, but it seemed he didn't hear me.

As we stepped out in the street, we headed for a small wicket, overgrown by plants. Edward parted the plants enough for me to be able to step inside. We entered and appeared near the pond, which I had looked at through the restaurant's window.

The evening was warm. There was fragrance of the gardens in the air. We went on a neat, lit path along the oleander bushes. _What a pity,_ I thought. _The flowers bloom so elegantly, but they have no smell. Moreover they're poisonous_. I shivered.

"Are you cold?" he asked me. Edward wrapped his arm over my waist and pulled me closer to his strong body.

"What happened to you, Edward?" I whispered keeping my eyes down. "You didn't even want to talk to me before today. What changed?"

"Everything has changed." he replied thoughtfully.

I finally looked at him and lost myself in his deep eyes. Edward pulled me closer. Through the thin silk of my dress I felt the cold of his open palm lying on my back.

Edward leaned down and pressed his lips to my compressed mouth. My lips immediately parted, inviting him, endorsing and welcoming all that he was going to do with me. His tongue slipped into my mouth, exploring, drawing circles, penetrating deeper. I grabbed his shoulders, like a drowning victim to a life ring. But I really got lost in his tenderness and his passion, the increasing strength of which surprised me. My feelings were a hundred times stronger and more realistic than in my "dream." His mouth was imperious and tender at the same time. Our lips moved together. Our bodies pressed together, perfectly complementing each other. His hand slid down to my chin, holding and turning my face so that the kiss became deeper, more feeling and sweeter. My heart sank, skipping a few beats. A thrum of pleasure was burning in my chest. I groaned dimly, pulling Edward closer to me, burying my fingers in his silky curls.

His eyes were closed, his face concentrated, as if he was trying to take control of his feelings. Gradually, our kiss became slower. Edward slid his mouth over my swollen lips, trying to calm and return us to earth.

A ring of a cell phone broke our world into a million pieces. Edward gave up holding me, and answered the call with an annoyed groan.

"Yes," he growled into the cell.

Then he paused for a moment, listening to the incessant stream of words. I couldn't make out any, but the caller was thrilled as judged by the voice.

"No," Edward growled again and ended the call.

My eyes filled with tears, I was ready to cry from the sharp sense of loss. My knees were weak, but Edward's strong hands kept me from falling. His expression softened. He was looking somewhere over my head.

"Wait a minute—I'll return quickly," he said. "Okay?"

I nodded, watching as he almost ran back to the gate. A minute hadn't yet passed as he hurried back to me.

"Did you miss me?"

I nodded again. My answer caused him smile.

"Come with me." Edward took my hand and pulled me toward the grass of neatly trimmed lawns. We went around the pond and stopped under the willows. Their branches hid us securely from outside views.

The moon shone brightly in the sky, silvering our figures with its light. I reached over and put my palm on Edward's cheek. He closed his eyes, enjoying my touch. His skin was cold. It was strange, because the evening was surprisingly warm.

_It was him._ A whole train of ideas swirled in my mind. _He was in your bedroom_, _Bella. He kissed you. You're wearing his present._

Edward turned around, kissed my open palm and sighed deeply.

I reached out to his lips, but he gently pushed me away. "Wait. Later."

Edward came up almost to the water's edge, removed his jacket, and spread it out on the grass in invitation. I approached and sat down on this improvised blanket. Contrary to my expectations, Edward came and sat down on the grass away from me.

I watched his serious face, a disobedient curl of hair falling over his forehead. I wanted to touch it and stroke it up.

"Edward," I began to say, but I stopped, as I had no idea of how to begin our conversation.  
He gazed thoughtfully at me, waiting to hear what I would say. But I said nothing. There was silence around us, which was broken only by a faint splash of water and the rustling of the leaves. It would be easier to talk about what was bothering me if he sat down closer and took my hand. But Edward distanced himself so quickly and didn't move closer. Suddenly, he broke the silence.

"Bella ...

_I can give not what men call love: _

_But wilt thou accept not _

_The worship the heart lifts above…"_

_"And the heavens reject not,"_ I finished for him. "Edward, why are you quoting Shelley?"

He shrugged and smiled slightly, then looked at me. I looked into his eyes, remembering the poem. I knew very well how it began and ended. He deliberately chose the most neutral quatrain and there wasn't hint in his words, but did I believe what one desires?

"I recently had a very strange dream," I said.

Edward barely reacted. "And what was strange about it?"

I stared at him. "You."

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	5. Chapter 5 I know You know

_**Special thanks to amazing and talented BellaBeth222, who really gave me a lot of valuable advice about manner of writing!**_

_**Big thanks to nails233. She pointed out on my mistakes.**_

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_**Edward POV**_

Her lips opened towards me. The universe had passed into nothingness; all sounds, colors and smells vanished. There was only her and I. Bella grabbed onto my shoulders, pressing her body into mine. She was fully absorbed, reacting to my every movement, accepting my strength, my power and my right to kiss her. I was drunk on her lips in a split second, the sense of an acute pleasure overtook me and led to where the names and people, time and space were not important, where we were in complete unity…but my _human_ time was up.

I knew who I was. A predator. A vampire. I couldn't resist it. My body followed its own wishes. The hunt was beginning and my mind was powerless to stop it.

The world decided to remind me of its existence; I heard the noise of passing cars, people's thoughts at the restaurant, the murmur of Bella's blood, her pulse, beating madly into her narrow wrists. She was so close to me, her intoxicating fragrance blew my mind away... I pictured a bright scene: myself possessing her, then seconds later, biting into her throat. I stopped understanding what I was doing, only feeling how badly I wanted her. The fire was burning me up inside. I knew exactly what I needed to do to put out this blaze.

My mouth was filled with venom. I lifted Bella's chin, turned her face closer to mine and kissed her one more time: greedy, demanding, insistent, hard; further my instincts as if the ancient world were on my side.

I knew how to bring Bella to the edge, where she wouldn't be able to tell me 'no'. My fingers slid across her collarbones ... just one step ... and…..

At that moment my cell phone rang persistently buzzing in my jacket.

"Yes," I growled into the receiver.

"Edward. You. Will. Regret. It…" Alice almost cried through the receiver.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, stopping breath as her words took hold. That predator's future was gone. My daze disappeared, and consciousness returned to me again with the horror of all that I could have done.

"You'll Kill her," my sister whispered.

"No!" I growled into the cell again, squeezing the tiny device in my hand, and a second later added more softly, so only Alice could hear me, "Never."

The cell beeped in protest as I clicked on the button ending the call.

We were still standing so close to each other. Calming down, I looked over her head at the mirror-like surface of the lake, letting its tranquility help me get my head together. My thirst receded slowly; replaced by remorse and anger with myself.

I allowed myself to become an ordinary human in just one evening. I invited – girl who likes me for a date and I kissed her. I chuckled at the thought. I was a fool thinking I could be a human even for a second. Such simple things, but I proved that they were not for me. The girl in my arms, she was also not for me. I was exposing her to danger every hour, every moment, trying to restrain and learning to control myself, being subservient to my hunting instincts. But at the same time, I couldn't let her go. I couldn't exist without her.

Once having decided to be with Bella, there was no way I could go back to my life as it had been before her. She was already the part of my life, maybe even life itself.

It seemed like an eternity passed before I dared to look at Bella. There was bewilderment on her face. How strange I must have seemed to her!

The gravel crunched on the path quietly. Alice was probably here.

"Wait a minute. I'll return quickly. Okay?" I asked Bella and got an affirmative response. I strode away with a human speed, but the moment I passed from her view, I was at the gate in the blink of an eye. My sister was waiting for me, leaning against the wrought iron fence. Emmett wasn't with her.

"Oh, Edward," she whispered, "you've never been so close to–"

"Yes, I know, Alice. I know," I interrupted her with irritation. Why was I angry at my sister? The only one who deserved my anger was myself.

"Thanks, you saved her from me."

"You better not be alone with her. I know we're not friends yet. But that's only a matter of time. Come on, I'll take Bella home," she offered. "I'll think up a suitable excuse and–"

"There is no need to," I interrupted my sister again. I wanted to be with Bella, and I'd find the way to do it. "I'll be more careful."

"I hope, Edward, that you know what you're doing, that the price of your willfulness isn't her life." She tried to stand her ground but, my resolution must have shown in my face, because Alice gave up.

"Well," she said, hiding in the shadows of the bushes, "I'm still going to watch you." I walked away, knowing it.

Bella stood in the same place I'd left her. "Did you miss me?" I teased her. She nodded, her eyes conveying her sincerity. This pleased me; like a little boy, I beamed with joy.

"Come with me." I took her hand, pulling her towards the grass of neatly trimmed lawns to the willows, which I noticed after Alice's call brought me back to my sense of reality. The willow's branches formed something like a tent, sheltering us from prying eyes.

Bella stood on her tiptoes and put her hand on my face. It was nice and unexpected. I felt calm. A sense of peace came over me. This simple gesture filled me with enjoyment. It was such a far cry from the passion I'd felt earlier.

I closed my eyes, allowing myself to enjoy these sensations for a while, but then, obeying a certain uncanny instinct, I turned my head and pushed my lips to her open palm. I felt the same warm pleasure. Astonishingly there was not even a hint of a mad thirst for her blood. Then, Bella's soft lips touched mine, and panic overwhelmed me again. And this time, I wouldn't be able stop.

"Wait. Later." I pushed her gently, trying again to recapture my control. However, I would rather not touch her today. Playing with fire was too dangerous for both of us. The main difference was that I knew it. She didn't. Not yet.

Bella didn't even suspect that she was risking her own life being next to me, kissing and touching me. Today I again almost succumbed to temptation following my instincts, my lust for her blood, which I felt in our first meeting, when she walked into Biology class.

Alice was right.

The best solution would be to take Bella home, but for me, common sense didn't matter. I wanted to stay with her a little bit longer, but I must not touch her anymore this evening.

The shyness came over her, and Bella bit her teeth into her lower lip. Although I couldn't hear her thoughts, they were etched on her face.

I was silent, staring at her and thinking about only one thing. How should I tell her that she split my world in two? On one hand, I loved her and when we came together, it was passion at its most perfect, where pleasure translated to eternity.

On the other, I hankered after forbidden fruit - her blood - and I would be alone, having experienced the height of pleasure with her lifeless body at my feet.

How could I explain to her that as soon as I touched her, as soon as the passion overtook my mind, these two parts would merge into one? They were unwanted and frightening, what I didn't want and couldn't be, where the price of my love was her life. I held my breath for a second, but the murmur of her blood reminded me about her sweet smell. I shouldn't touch her before finding the strength to make a clear distinction between these two parts of myself, until I could be sure that I'd never hurt her under any circumstances, at any price.

"Edward," Bella said.

I looked at her, but she remained silent, not daring to continue. I gazed at her face. She sat nursing her knees. The moonlight was caught in her hair. She seemed so delicate and fragile. My thoughtful, silent lady. I didn't notice that I started quoting Shelley, but I wasn't able to stop myself, and then she said it.

"I recently had a very strange dream."

"And what was it about?"

"You ..." she looked at me and didn't remove her eyes.

I sighed and stared at her with amused disbelief. This was unexpected, truly, the courage Bella certainly had. I wondered if she realized that by confessing to a man that he was in her dream, she actually subscribed to the fact that she was actually admitting to being attracted to him.

"I dreamed that I had awakened in the middle of the night, opened my eyes and saw you–" I was staring at her.

"I got out of my bed and walked over to you in order to... talk ..."

"About?" I asked under my breath.

"You see, we didn't talk," her voice was almost inaudible, melding with the quiet play of the water in the lake. I held my breath, waiting for her to continue, but she said nothing. Bella stared in front of her at the moon-glade in the center of the lake.

"You know, I also had a dream." I had decided to take the initiative. She turned to me abruptly.

"I dreamed I was watching you sleep. Suddenly you awakened, left your bed, walked over and talked to me."

"About?" she repeated my words.

"You see," I said, throwing caution to the wind, "we didn't talk... we were kissing..."

"Oh," she emitted a sigh. "And how was it? Did you like it?"

"I loved it." It was the easiest question in my life. "And you?"

"I didn't tell you…that we were kissing in my dream." Bella tried to hide her feelings and spoke with deliberation, but she was biting her lower lip. Nervousness radiated from her.

"Oh! Sorry. I thought that if our dreams had the same beginning, they must be alike in their end," I muttered.

"I heard that sometimes people have the same dreams. I wonder why it happens. Have you ever thought about it?" She murmured, apprehensively.

"No. But I think it happens when there's a connection like invisible threads tethering them together." Perhaps I was too outspoken, but I didn't want to quibble.

"I see." She looked at me. "Well, what are those threads called, that caught us?" She seemed a trifle shy. My mouth opened to answer, but no words came out.

"Did we kiss in your dream?" I asked finally, calmly avoiding her question. I don't know why I ignored her question and asked my own, but I was surprisingly calm.

She nodded. "Yes." Her voice trembling a bit.

"And how was it? Did you like it?" Now it was my turn to repeat her words.

She was silent for a long time before answering. The surrounding air was building with tension, just the pulsing of her heart breaking the silence. Gradually, uncertainty was turning into despair. I gritted my teeth. The root which I kept by my hand broke in half with a snap. Bella started and looked up at me.

"Yes," she said. "I liked it." And with that, everything clicked into place. She remembered and understood everything.

She just didn't know how I felt about it. Bella trod on the thin ice of our talk, as well as did I. She waited a step from me, and only for this reason she didn't tell me everything.

"Bella," I said. "I want to spend tomorrow evening with you." But I with held my true desire to keep her by my side until the end of time. I didn't want to be apart for a moment.

_I want to be with you forever_.

All the way to her home we were silent. It was only when we reached her home, that she finally spoke again.

"Where are we going tomorrow?"

"Wherever you choose," I said adding mentally: _I don't care where we are if I go with you._

_**Bella POV**_

The next day, Jessica and I came into the cafeteria for lunch. While putting food on my tray, I scarcely troubled myself to listen to her incessant chatter. My thoughts were still stuck on yesterday's evening, the date in the restaurant, our conversation under the limbs of willows and all those things still unsaid between us. Of how our eyes said more than our words.

_"I know it was you."_

_"I know that you've guessed about it."_

_"It was not a dream."_

_"Not a dream."_

_"Why can't we talk about it directly?"_

_"The time for a straight conversation hasn't yet come. It isn't time."_

My heart pounded in my chest as I was inundated with the memories of yesterday's evening.

I was actually thinking about our date this day, when Jessica's high-pitched voice penetrated my thoughts.

"What?" I asked.

"You just have to come with us," Jessica practically begged.

"Huh?"

"To Bougainville," she stated, hands perched on her hips. "You know, the club in Port Angeles."

"What about the club?"

"God. Where has your brain been? We were just talking about it. You. Me. A night out dancing." She was practically bouncing with excitement.

I couldn't hide the apprehension that invaded my expression. Sensing my hesitation, her eyes turned the size of saucers, silently pleading her case.

"It's just a place to hang out, Bella. We'll have so much fun." Both her hands grasped mine. "There'll be music, and a ton of cute guys." She lowered her eyes briefly as her final words slipped out. "You know… maybe a little dancing."

I huffed, loudly, reiterating my distaste of all things dance related. Which by the way, Jessica was well aware of.

"Oh, you don't need to dance, you can just sit there, enjoying the music and the evening." She stood, eyes steeled with determination.

"I hate loud music." It wasn't a lie.

"Angela, Lauren and Mike, Ben, Tyler and Eric are also going. It will be fun. You have to come."

Honestly, I had no desire to spend the evening in the company of my classmates in some unknown club. Only if ...

"Can I invite someone?" I questioned, instantly regretting it. She just stared at me, waiting, her hands still on her hips, but now her foot tapping, as she silently demanded more information.

"Edward," I squeaked, my face in full red mode.

"Cullen?" Jessica asked, as if it were really a question. She knew full well there was only one Edward in our school.

After digesting this information, an indecipherable smirk spread across her lips. "Ask whoever you want. The more the merrier."

She picked up her tray and walked to the table where Mike and Eric were sitting.

"Gee, thanks Jess," I mocked at her retreating form.

Finally on my own, I stole a chance to look at the Cullens' and Hales' table. The table was complete, save for Edward. Where was he?

"Hey," a voice called right beside my ear. "Who are you looking for?" I turned quickly to see Edward by my side, smiling at me.

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	6. Chapter 6 Tea or coffee

_**Huge thanks to BellaBeth222. She makes my characters and the plot better.**_

_**Big thanks to nails233. She pointed out on my mistakes.**_

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_**Edward POV**_

An unpleasant surprise awaited me at home. Rosalie and Tanya were reading over some magazine in our living room. I know they heard me when I drove up. Vain as they may be, there was no way they were that interested in the magazine they were hovering over. I couldn't help but slam the front door, in annoyance.

Tanya was nervous. I didn't have a mind to read her thoughts, but she couldn't stop thinking about me since she heard my car turn from the highway to the road leading to our home. She was waiting for me, she was waiting for my reaction to her arrival, she was waiting for some actions from my side in response to her actions, and finally she was waiting for my love in return. And she had been building such castles in the air many a day. She was beautiful, smart, persistent and passionate, but to me, Tanya was simply a friend of the family.

"Edward." Tanya jumped to meet me. The short deep-blue dress set off her perfect figure. She dressed not for the weather of Forks, but not for the weather of Alaska, either. Her eyes radiated feelings that I didn't want to accept. Not from her. "I'm so glad to see you."

"I'm glad to see you, too, Tanya." I pretended to be happy. She was the last person I wanted to see today.

Rosalie glared at me from across the room, silently barraging me with her over-bearing opinions.

_Look at her, Edward. She is a thousand times more beautiful than that girl. Have you lost your mind?_

"I heard you were having a party." Her words cut across to me, while her thoughts gave away her true intentions. All I need is one long night.

"Unfortunately, tomorrow I have to leave," she added.

Rosalie didn't even try to hide the devious smile gracing her face. _She came here for you. And you are an idiot if you pass this up._

I smiled in return, not to be totally impolite. I was going to refuse her. I didn't want Tanya to be on to my silent dialogue with Rosalie. My desire for quiet was overwhelming!

"Have fun with your party. Sorry, ladies, that I'm being rude, but I already made plans for tonight."

"Oh." Tanya's eyes dimmed. "I so wanted to spend the night with you."

"Sorry but I have to go, Tanya," I said quietly. Having decided not to wait for her answer, I left them, quickly heading upstairs to my room.

Hastily, I took a shower, got dressed and jumped out of my window in an effort to avoid the succubus that was lingering downstairs with my sister. Another delightful night in Bella's bedroom was waiting for me. I would look at my love and remember our talk yesterday near the lake and our kiss.

Hearing the falling footsteps behind me, I sighed heavily and turned around, angry now that my memories of the previous night were interrupted by what was in front of me. I didn't want to have this conversation again. Tanya came up very close to me; her hands flew up to my shoulders.

I got tired of restraining my temper. During all these years our families had been trying to hurl us together. And in spite of my numerous blow-offs, she didn't want to give up.

"Tanya," I hissed, grabbing her wrists and forcing a distance between us. She didn't answer, but never took her eyes away from mine. Her words seared into me.

_Anything you say, Edward._ _I can be your every wish. Fulfill your every desire. Here and now. _Her thoughts were much too sincere and plain-spoken.

Many men would be willing to sell their soul for such a woman, the pure perfection in the pose of a submissive slave. But she wasn't a slave. Never. Before her family adopted Carlisle's way of life, she and her sisters were fools for human men. They allured them artfully and killed in cold blood after sex. Hard-hearted. Dead-hearted.

But I also had no soul. Or had I? In any case, all I had belonged to Bella.

Finally, Tanya surrendered. "Edward…"

"Stop, Tanya," I interrupted her. "I'm sorry, but if you came for me, you did it for nothing. I have never given you any reason to think that there could ever be something between you and me. I don't know why Rosalie decided that she has the right to interfere."

"What else could you ask for, Edward?" she asked angrily. "Beauty? Look at me. Passion? I'm passionate. Lust? I can quench any thirst you have."

"You're beautiful, Tanya..."

"Yes, but…I'm not her." Tanya herself brought my thought to a conclusion.

"No, you are not," I confirmed quietly.

She dropped her eyes beneath my gaze and a shudder passed over her. When she looked at me again, her eyes were hard and cold.

"Why her? Why is she better, Edward? She's a fragile, little human who will break by your hand. You will hurt her. But you can never hurt me. I can share my life with you. I can give you everything that she can never offer you."

I was still holding her wrist and she didn't pull away. Rising on her tiptoes, she reached for my lips. I moved back. I didn't want to be rude to her, but she left me no other choice.

"Tanya," I said slowly, emphasizing every word, "I - don't - want – you."

She hissed and recoiled from me.

_"When_ you wake up from this delusion, she will be dead and I will be gone. And you will be all alone," she gritted between her teeth.

"I won't change my mind," I vowed to her.

"I hope we never meet again." Her voice was swallowed up by the darkness.

I frowned in annoyance. It was sad, this whole situation with Tanya. I didn't want to hurt her.

Nevertheless, even this quarrel with Tanya couldn't dampen my mood. I knew that Bella's window was open for me tonight.

**. . . . .**

Until now, I hated going to school. It seemed to me an annoying duty which I must continue to play my part as a high school student. I would rather be going to the university, but it wasn't possible. It would draw undesired attention to us. I had to take things as they came, every few years returning in the graduation class. Cities, times, people - everything changed except high school with its very limited subjects, the teachers who despised their jobs, and the classmates with their puerile interests and habits.

Now, with Bella in my life, everything had changed. Every day brought new experiences, thoughts, and ideas that I carefully kept in my memory. I spent the classes where we were not together waiting for our next meeting, and this was fine, too.

I saw Bella in the cafeteria choosing her meal for lunch. Approaching her, I asked, "Hey, who are you looking for?"

Bella jumped and looked at me reproachfully. "You did it again."

"What?" I looked deep into her dark brown eyes.

"Appeared out of the blue," she answered in a little annoyed voice.

"I'm sorry. I'll try not to do it again." I shrugged and smiled at her. "How did you sleep?"

Bella took a deep breath and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. "Good. And you?"

"Fascinatingly."

A pleasant smile appeared on my face thinking about last night's special moments. I really had had a delightful night. Bella whispered my name in her sleep.

Catching my glance, Bella stopped for a moment and blushed.

"What?" I asked in awe.

"Nothing. Everything is fine." Obviously, she didn't want to discuss her sudden embarrassment. "Our plans for this evening haven't changed?"

"No," I assured her, "you get to choose."

She smiled hesitantly before biting down on her bottom lip. "Jessica called and invited everyone to go to a nightclub. Will you come with me?"

"Nightclub?" I was surprised. "Do you like dancing?"

She giggled at my question. What had I said to make her laugh?

"Frankly, I don't, but I promised to keep Jess company. Everybody is going: Angela, Tyler, Mike–" She looked at me pleadingly. "Will you come?" I heard her heart beating faster.

"I would love to."

Did she really think that I could refuse her? With her good fortune, who knows what kind of trouble would find her in Port Angeles, not to mention in a nightclub. This was out of the question. On one hand I was disappointed that I couldn't spend the evening alone with her, but on the other, it would be much easier to control myself in a large company of her friends.

"Edward!" Bella waved her hands in protest. "What should I do with all this food?"

Having been so deep in my thoughts, I didn't notice when I grabbed three desserts from the counter and put them on her tray.

"Well, give them to Jessica and Angela," I suggested, pulling out my wallet.

"I can pay. I have enough money to pay for my lunch," Bella scolded me.

Sometimes I didn't fully understand her reasons. However, I wasn't going to argue with her there, in full view of everybody.

"How about we split it? After all, I'm the one who ordered three desserts," I reminded her.

Bella sighed but agreed to the compromise.

"Have lunch with us?" she implored, going to a table where her friends were sitting.

Unfortunately, I couldn't bear to join her for lunch. This would be uncomfortable for our classmates and especially for me, listening to their crazy thoughts about my relationship with Bella. I would like to share a lunch with her, but without any prying eyes and not today.

"Rain check," I replied. "What time should I pick you up?"

"Oh, I don't know. Let's ask Jess, she's planning the evening for us."

The lively chatter abruptly stopped as we approached the table.

"Jessica, what time are we going tonight?" Bella asked.

Jessica stared at me with an astonished look on her face, as if I were a ghost.

_Oh. My. God. She really asked him. And he's going! Wow, what a clever vixen! How the hell did she hook up with the most gorgeous guy in the school?_

I tried to ignore her; Jessica's thoughts always irritated me.

"At 7 p.m.," she informed us too cheerfully.

_I should ask if we could go with them. I could make Mike sit in the front, so Bella wouldn't be sitting near him. OMG. Tonight I could be sitting right behind him. I've always wanted to ride in his car. _

What a drama queen!

"Then, Bella, I'll pick you up at a half past six," I promised.

"Good." She nodded and gave me a little smile, then turned to Jessica. "Please, try to save seats for us. We may arrive late. I should make dinner for my dad and I am afraid it may run over."

_Wow! Cunning beyond her years!_

"I think…" Jessica started, but I interrupted her.

"It doesn't matter if there are no free seats at the table," I said and looked at Bella. "I'll find a private table for us."

I blocked the flow of Jessica's resentful thoughts.

"See you tonight." Bella smiled shyly.

**. . . . .**

When I pulled up to Bella's house, I was surprised to see her waiting for me at the door, holding a tiny white kitten.

"Hi, look who I found. It was sitting on my doorstep," she said.

"Hey."

She cuddled this kitten in her arms. It looked so affecting. I reached out to pet the kitten, but he arched his back and hissed at me. Well, of course, animals felt the danger instantly.

"He's scared," Bella gasped, surprised.

"He's jealous," I deflected. "He isn't ready to share you. You know, I can't blame him," I finished.

"Oh, yes, he's green-eyed with envy." Bella laughed.

"If I were him, I'd be jealous, too."

"So you're comparing yourself to a kitten?"

"Hmm, with what then?" I became very curious. "Why? You don't think I'm cat material?"

"I'd say you're more like a panther or a lion," Bella replied without hesitation.

Was I truly an open book to her? If only I could break into her thoughts. Oh, Bella, Bella, you have no idea how shrewd you are.

"Why?" I asked her, hardly keeping a calm expression on my face.

"You look like a predator. Especially, when you're angry. Just like now– "

"I'm not angry, Bella." I looked at her.

_A predator?_ _Do you have no sense of self-preservation?_ _Why are you still here, Bella? I know you feel it. You sense it. Just like the terrified kitten you are holding. But why are you still here? Why have you not run away? Are you pulled to me as I am to you? Is this proof that soul mates exist? Where you born just for me? Even though I'm not human. That I'm a monster. Are you here to save a soul I don't believe I have? Or are you here to strip me of my last sliver of humanity? Did you come to save me? Or are you here to destroy me? Are you my godsend or my curse?_

Bella touched my cheek, as if she could read my thoughts. I brought my fingertips to her lips. Her thumb ran across my lower lip and I wanted to pull her closer so badly. A myriad of emotions and sensations swept me away. My fingers were sliding over her face. It was a strange "kiss." Only touches. But it was so sweet, so tender. Bella sighed and molded herself to my lips…

"A predator," she repeated, "beautiful and dangerous."

"Are you afraid?" My fingers glided over her skin.

"No."

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeper, savoring her unique scent. She didn't recoil in horror touching my cold skin and my strange questions didn't puzzle her. It seemed she didn't listen attentively, as if her mind was in another place. I opened my eyes, looking intently into her eyes. I had never seen anyone more beautiful in my life.

She was perfect; she was so beautiful that I was breathless. I could not take my eyes from her. It was always difficult to tear myself away from her.

"Is it time to go?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Ok, let me just put Little Rover back in the house."

"_Little Rover?_" I questioned, while trying my damnedest to keep a straight face.

She gave the kitten a stroke. "I hope Charlie won't mind if I take him into our family."

**. . . . .**

The music was loud, screaming through the nightclub speakers. The strobe lights were spinning at an insane speed, staining people's faces in a deathly pale or a blood-red color. Bella grabbed my hand; apparently all the noise and lights made her nervous.

Tyler waved to us from across the room. Maneuvering between the dancers, we found our classmates seated on couches gathered around a table.

The mental conversation erupting from the table seemed to follow a collaborative question: _What are they doing together? _Only Angela, a mousy girl with glasses, seemed to be genuine with her thoughts. She was kind, sympathetic and timid girl and had been carrying a torch for Ben Cheney for a long time.

Bella turned in my direction, her brown tresses swaying with the movement. The ends of her hair just barely brushed my cheek. As always, her smell intoxicated me, but for the second time, it awakened a very different desire in me. Annoying noise, abstract mutterings and thoughts of the people surrounding us, all these had disappeared in a second. She was so close to me. I felt her heart beating with my entire body; it seemed I could sense how my own dead heart started responding to the rhythm of her pulse. I watched her face, hypnotized, and I couldn't take my eyes off her lips.

The loud music stopped, catapulting me out of my dreams and into reality. A hundred unwanted voices rushed into my mind. Jessica screamed louder than the others did.

_Holy shit. He totally wants her! _

I seriously considered killing her. She was a complete nuisance. Although, perhaps, I should be grateful to her this time. I never stopped to think that others could read our desires for each other so easily.

I usually kept my distance from humans - they avoided me, and it was with good reason. My family and I, we always tried to keep a low profile. We were different. And our lifestyle was just an imitation. But now I was with Bella and everything had changed.

I always knew that all people liked to spy on each other. Before now I couldn't care less about it. But they thought about Bella, envied her…were envious of us being together. Some idiots wanted to be in my place. Any dirty thoughts about Bella gave rise to my anger.

I looked at her. She blinked vacantly, and then put her palm to her mouth and yawned. All of the bright lights and loud music had made her tired.

"Don't fall asleep," I pleaded to Bella with a smile. "Would you like some coffee?"

"I'm not a coffee nerd. I rarely drink it," she replied.

"I'll keep that in mind. Tea?" I would not give up.

"I like tea, but for now I'm good."

"Dancing?"

"Are you kidding?" Bella said, horrified. "I don't dance."

"You can dance. You just haven't had a good partner."

"I didn't say I couldn't. I said I don't. And I don't think a good partner matters. Not in my case. Take my word for it."

I pictured myself dancing with Bella, her hands on my shoulders, my hands at her waist, pulling her closer. Slow music... Her fragrance... the closeness of her body...her eyes... I couldn't deny myself such a simple pleasure, to dance with her. Not here, however - everything would be quite different. I didn't know yet how, but somehow.

"You've never danced with me," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

"You seriously want to dance with me?" she strained.

"Yes. But in private. Another time. I would never make you do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. And I have a feeling dancing in front of you peers falls into that category."

"Edward–" Bella sighed.

"Hush, just promise," I murmured into her ear, before gently grazing the outer surface of her ear with my lips.

I slowly withdrew but not before grasping her small hand in mine.

Drawing her hand to my lips, I kissed her open palm. An exciting, familiar smell filled my lungs, but I noted that the agonizing thirst I had come to dread was still absent. I was overwhelmingly surprised and delighted. Continuing to hold her hand, I breathed in deeply the scent of her wrist. Delightful, magical and sweet, it was impossible to resist it.

"Yes." Her voice was trembling.

_Wow, she twists him around her little finger. _

My control over my temper was slipping as her thoughts repeated in my head.

_God. What does he see in her? She is totally being coy with him._

I couldn't help it. I turned and practically hissed at her. Damn her for ruining my time with Bella.

The voice of Crowley wedged into my thoughts.

_Someone always turns up trumps. But I have to sit next to Lauren and listen to her whining. What did I come here for? To watch how Cullen hugs Bella? I wouldn't mind taking his place._

It was too much! Couldn't these "pseudo friends" stop thinking about Bella and me? Didn't they have their own problems, desires and dreams? People were so jealous and deceitful; it was constant and would never change.

"Let's walk through the club and look around," I said, wanting to lead Bella away from Jessica's hard stare.

Bella nodded and we walked toward the dance floor, where a noisy crowd danced, moving in time with the sharp, rhythmic music. The noise irritated me.

The proximity of the dance floor made Bella nervous. I smiled at her, silently letting her know that I wasn't going to drag her in a crowd.

Suddenly the pounding music shifted to a slow melody. From my peripheral vision, I saw Mike abandon the table and weave his way over to us. It wasn't too hard to discover his motivation.

_Why the hell would she bring him? There is no way they're an item. They aren't even holding hands. Screw him. I'm gonna ask her to dance._

Jealousy flooded my head. I reached out and wrapped my arm around Bella's shoulders.

_What the hell? Did he really just put his arm around her? What does he think, that she's his property or something?_

"Hey, Bella, wanna dance?" he asked politely, coming up to us.

_I will break your spine if you even touch her,_ I thought grimly.

"If _my _lady…" I had emphasized this word, and Bella gave me an amazed look, "…has no objection."

I looked at Mike, his gaze un-blinking. Maybe he would think twice the next time he thought to ask Bella for something like that. I was completely jealous. Though, I wasn't quite sure if I had any right to such a feeling.

"Mike, I'm not dancing, thank you," Bella said, not looking at him. Her eyes were staring into mine.

"Well, it's up to you." Mike shrugged.

I tried not to put my attention toward the bad language in his thoughts.

At last he looked at our table._ I'm gonna have to ask Jessica for a dance. Though, it seems, she might turn me down._

Mike's mind still lingered on _"those strange Cullens,"_ but I wasn't quite interested in listening to his thoughts.

"Can we step outside?" Bella asked, and I nodded.

We went outside; the air was fresh after the rain. The water was dripping from the trees. Clear night sky seemed almost endless. After a noisy club, this quiet evening was particularly enjoyable.

I took Bella's hand, and we walked slowly down the sidewalk. Streetlights beamed dimly. We could hear muffled music greeting from restaurants and clubs. A small dark path seemed very cozy to me, and we hid there.

"You called me _'your lady,'_" Bella began hesitantly.

"I would like it to be so," I answered honestly.

"And… you didn't want me to dance with Mike?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"No. I didn't… I didn't want you to dance with anybody," I confessed.

"Oh." Her cheeks turned red in embarrassment. It was quiet in a few seconds. "I wouldn't have danced with him," she added.

"I know."

"You know? How can you know? Are you a mind reader?"

I held my tongue, stalling for time. Because at this moment, looking into her eyes, I knew I could never lie to her. "Yes, but not yours. I can't read your mind."

Bella smiled at me. Maybe she thought it was a joke, but it wasn't.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, buried my face in her hair and stood still, enjoying the moment.

There was no fire in my throat. Suddenly I understood why that was the case. Everything was much easier. The instinct of self-preservation, repeatedly reinforced by the part of me that was superhuman, was playing on my side. I couldn't hurt her - she _was _me. I couldn't let any harm come to her, as to myself.

I remembered how she came into biology class for the first time, how I breathed in her charming smell calling for me for the first time, how I touched her for the first time, holding and protecting her from the van, how I saw astonishment and shock in her deep chocolate eyes for the first time. I barely tore myself away from her and escaped, not knowing what I wished more: to pull her closer and protect from any danger or to kill her, falling to temptation, to the instinct, which was as ancient as the world.

But now I knew for sure I wouldn't hurt her. Never.

Spending all the nights in her room so far, I was alone with her dreams. A night alone with her seemed the most refined torture, which I only could imagine. And I wouldn't give up the idea of being with Bella.

A night alone with her... This idea played like a cruel joke, forcing my imagination, waking up my desire. If I were a man, I would say that I needed intimacy with her as much as I needed air. But I wasn't a man. So I just silently pulled her closer.

Her breathing became more rapid. She ran her tongue across her lips. Time committed its favorite trick - it slowed down and then stopped.

The pub's door opened in the street in front of us and I turned in that direction. A girl came onto the street, along with three guys. All four seemed to be mellow, their drunken roars of laughter reaching us. I didn't like the smell of drunken people. The quiet street suddenly lost all its charm, instantly becoming a usual, dingy alley. I looked at Bella; her face looked disappointed.

_Let's go away?_ I asked dumbly with my eyes.

_Let's go,_ she answered me without any words.

I took her hand and was going to leave, when suddenly the wind gusted in our direction. I froze on the spot. There was _a vampire_ among them.

It was a foreigner.

A predator.

* * *

_**Sorry for the delay!**_

_**Thank you all for reading!**_

_**Please send reviews my way. **__**I adore them!))**_


	7. Chapter 7  Shall we dance?

_**Big thanks to BellaBeth222 and**_ _**nails233. **_

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**Chapter 7. Shall we dance?**

_**Bella's POV**_

I saw the bright sign across the street; it was The Bloody Shake Bar. At that moment, the door of the bar opened with a bang. While laughing loudly, four drunken people - three men and a shapely, red-haired girl, spilled out of the bar. The girl's messy hair was waving down her back like a blazing wild fire. The hands of the men were drawn to her, but the red-haired beauty gracefully dodged her annoying followers with a laugh. She was tall and well-proportioned, graceful and distinguished-looking. It was not clear what such a beauty was doing with three absolutely bombed-looking guys. She immediately made me feel rather ordinary next to her beauty. I didn't know whether this anxious feeling was because of the redhead or the guys, most probably the guys. I didn't like the drunken company - they frightened me.

I tensed, feeling Edward's muscles tightening into steel bands under my arm.

"Let's get out of here," I begged him.

"Of course," he nodded until he noticed the redhead take a step in our direction.

I took his hand, pulling him aside. Something about the redhead made me want to escape from her presence as soon as possible. But Edward suddenly stopped and turned with a snap in the direction of the four. I watched as he cocked his head to the side and stared at her, his shoulders shuddering as he inhaled the dense air. A strange, spicy fragrance infused the evening atmosphere.

The redhead also froze, gazing at Edward. She bowed her head to one side and narrowed her eyes. It looked like she had copied Edward's gesture. She took a few steps in our direction, going into the light projected by a street lamp.

What did she want? Why was he even looking at her? Why hadn't we left yet? Was he really going to talk to her? Had they ever met each other before?

I turned my gaze from the stranger to Edward. I had no idea what she wanted from us.

"Hello," she cooed.

"Hello," Edward answered, his eyes and body completely absorbed in the woman in front of us.

"My name's Victoria."

"Edward," he answered.

"Pleased to meet you, Edward," she said with a playful, cushioned voice. There was a provocative smile on her face.

"Likewise, I'm sure," he replied, taking another step closer to her. "I live close...with my family."

"With your family?" I couldn't miss the surprised tone in her voice.

"We are a family of seven."

I was lost by their conversation. Why was he talking about his family to this stranger in detail? It didn't look like they had met before this evening. Why was Edward still talking to her?

"Baby, we're tired of waiting for you," one of the men shouted, waving his bottle as beer slopped all over him.

"Don't be lonesome, sweet," she gave a cursory glance over her shoulder, blowing a kiss to the guy. "I'll be back soon." She turned back to us, narrowing her eyes.

The redhead's dark eyes studied me intensely. Even though I was shielded by Edward, the gleam in her features sent a shiver down my spine. Turning her eyes back to Edward, her full lips smiled again.

"I'm sorry for the interruption, Edward. I hope I have not offended you and your family. I was unaware that this territory was already claimed."

"That's alright," he said. "But, please, do not linger. I would hate for unwanted attention to be brought to the area."

_Territorial rights? Unwanted attention? _My mind was in a fog.

She appraised me and then smirked at Edward without batting an eyelid. "Well, then may I invite you to _my_ little party? I am going to have a little fun. Din..." She nodded toward the man, "...has kindly invited us back to his apartment."

These words made me squirm. What kind of sick game was she into?

I looked over and saw the man standing in the middle of the group, palming himself through his jeans, while the other pinched at his nipples through his shirt. "Come on, baby," the pincher whined to Victoria. "It would be a waste not to taste him. He's ripe and ready for you," he said.

"Give him an extra tweak for me. I won't make you wait long. Hell, you won't even have to wait till we get to the apartment. Just be patient a little bit more, and then I promise to make it up to you...all of you," she purred before running her own hands across her prominent chest. The redhead winked at the men and turned to us.

But she didn't look at me, all her attention focused on Edward. She smiled knowingly at him.

"Your girl would be a lovely addition to our little soiree."

_Did that hussy invite _us_ to join them_? I stiffened, clutching Edward's hand, slightly pulling him to myself and wanting to leave this place quickly after finishing this unpleasant conversation.

"Thanks, but my date and I already have plans for the evening." His lips were held firmly shut in a scowl. Edward shielded me with his body, leaning forward a little and looking straight into Victoria's eyes.

"You will be missed. It could truly have been a memorable night." She tilted her head once more toward Edward and me. "Have a wonderful evening." She smirked.

Edward nodded.

He put his arm around my waist, waiting for Victoria and her companions to disappear from our sight, before leading me away from the area quickly. We walked in silence. Edward was absorbed in his thoughts while I was at a complete loss as to what had just happened. Questions bombarded my brain with every step I took. Who was that redhead? Why did she speak to us? Had Edward met her before? No, they were introducing themselves to each other. What was that strange dialogue between them? For what reason did Edward tell the stranger where he lived and with whom? What about "territorial rights?" I didn't understand anything.

"Did you know her?" I finally gathered the courage to ask, breaking the silence that surrounded us.

"No."

"She seemed very interested in you," I commented, trying to get him to talk.

"She was." His clipped tone was doing nothing to assuage my growing frustration at the situation. His heavy, almost angry, footsteps on the walkway echoed through the night.

"She wanted you to join them," I blamed him.

Silence.

Edward continued walking at a furious pace. The darkness of night made it hard to see his face to discern what he might have been truly feeling. I needed to see his eyes.

"She seemed to want me to follow her, too."

Edward halted, turning right in front of me. His eyes were black, his features stone. This was not my Edward from earlier, the one who called me his lady and held me close.

He was staring at me now, his silence and the intensity of his stare making me nervous, my stomach twisting in over-lapping knots.

"You can go back if you want. Join them. Make it a foursome." I knew the snide comment was uncalled for. The longer the silence, the more I began to doubt exactly what he was doing with me. Edward drew a deep breath, bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose before turning back down the street, grabbing my hand and again pulling me with him.

Even just the thought of what kind of party Victoria and her entourage were about to participate in was disgusting in and of itself. I shuddered and closed my eyes for a moment, trying to get rid of the nasty visuals. However, one fact was undeniable. Victoria was a very beautiful woman, a transcendent beauty.

"She is beautiful," I murmured, hoping again to get a reaction out of Edward.

"Yes, very attractive."

My breath caught at his totally unexpected response as we continued trudging down the walkway. He said nothing, the silence stretching into what felt like years.

Suddenly, Edward's cold demeanor made sense to me. I felt uninvited tears blurring my vision. Victoria. Alluring. Beautiful. Fiery with a passion I have never witnessed. And Edward. Silent. Brooding. Angry. Disappointed. Because he was dragging me through the night streets instead of enjoying the pleasures of the enchantress he had just left.

Through my tears, I did not notice when we walked into a blind alley and were forced to stop. The red brick walls of the houses reached out toward the starry arch. Rain clouds had cleared away - the sky was clear and serene. It must have been about midnight. I pulled my hand from the cold of Edward's palm and walked away from him.

"Bella?" There was a taste of surprise in his voice.

"Edward?" I mimicked him. "You know what, I'm going home. Why don't you go back and join Victoria. She's more your type."

"What? Why did you say that?"

"I don't need your pity. Go. Indulge yourself. Be with someone more attractive. More beautiful," I whispered, lowering my head. I just could not look at him now. Otherwise, I could lock myself up and would not be able to squeeze out a word.

"What are you talking about?"

"You just admitted it," I snapped, turning away from him to hide my shining eyes. "You said she was beautiful, attractive. Are you really so bored with me that you don't even remember our conversation two seconds ago?"

"I never said that, Bella." He frowned at me.

I shook my head dismally. "It doesn't matter who said it, the only thing that matters is that this red-haired beauty is perfect, she is beautiful...more beautiful than me."

Jealousy was a terrible feeling. I had never experienced it before. Somehow, I always believed that jealousy was followed by anger, although I felt complete emptiness.

"Bella, look at me." I heard Edward's firm voice behind me.

I raised my right hand, brushing away my telltale tears, and shook my head like a stubborn child.

"Look at me," he repeated again. "Please?" he added. I could not resist this quiet, gentle voice and turned to Edward, blinking at him timidly.

"Bella, listen to me. There is no other woman more beautiful than you. Victoria is attractive, but holds none of the allure that you hold for me. You are Beatrice to my Dante. And just like Botticelli has depicted these two lovers, you are a part of me, one that can never be replaced."

I could not believe my ears. It was too unrealistic. A minute ago, I was the unhappiest girl on Earth, but now happiness flowed through my cold body like a warm stream. The fragile wall of ice, which I had already built around myself, cracked and crumbled.

"I can't tell you what I feel, but I can show it." Edward offered me his hand. "Dance with me. Now." His voice was gentle and caressing as ever.

At first, I was confused and could not understand anything, but soon I caught a distant sound of a slow melody. Someone was playing a heart-stirring blues; a sensuous woman's voice was singing Sade's song.

"Edward, I'm no good at -"

"Trust me."

"Okay," I said. I wanted to believe him for some reason. _Oh, man, I am so clumsy._

"Come to me."

I took a few steps in his direction and after a second, I was encased in the safety of his arms. He pulled me closer to him.

"That's it. Just hold onto me."

My right hand laid down on his open, cold palm, and my left hand rested on his solid shoulder. As my body molded into his, the world around us seemed to fade and die away. Our eyes met and the silent dialogue of our souls began.

This connection between us, pulsating chords binding us - he knew it; I knew it, without the need for words or explanations. Only the two of us were in this deserted alley with the quiet melody drifting over us.

_You think I'd leave your side, baby? You know me better than that..._

His arm encircled my waist. It made me feel comfortable, made me feel...safe? I closed my eyes and leaned my head against his shoulder.

_Oh, when you're cold I'll be there to hold you tight to me..._

He pressed his cheek against the top of my head and sighed.

_I will show you, you're so much better than you know..._

The evening noise faded away, the roar of passing cars in the distance, the sounds of the city that had fallen asleep. Those were the last minutes of this long day. We were immersed in each other completely.

My body finally relaxed and fell for the music, and for Edward. The tenderness toward this enigmatic man overwhelmed me. I wanted him to feel the happiness that came over me.

I took a deep breath, listening to the slow chords and enjoying his strong arms surrounding me.

_When you're alone and you can't get back again. I will find you darling I'll bring you home._

I blinked away my unshed tears. Edward felt the change of my mood and pressed his lips to my forehead in a long kiss.

_I am here to dry your eyes and in no time you'll be fine._

He pulled me closer as I ran my fingers from his neck up into his hair.

_I'll be there by your side baby..._

The last trembling note hung in the air between us for a second before melting away. We stopped, swaying a bit as we returned to reality. The song embodied us - I felt it in my heart. But as his fingers trailed along my arm, I knew I could no longer hold silent. I needed to talk to him. The questions, the dreams and his indecipherable moods were haunting me.

I took several steps back, out of his reach in an effort to clear my head, knowing full well that if I remained in his arms, my questions would forever go unasked.

He looked at me with a puzzled expression as he tried to do something with his now empty hands.

I searched his eyes for a moment before I found my voice. "This was from you, wasn't it?" I questioned, fingering the heart-shaped pendent that was now a permanent fixture around my neck.

His lips curled slightly. "Yes."

"And the music box?"

"The song it plays reminds me of you. I wanted you to have it. And my mother once told me that giving an empty box as a gift is bad luck. So the heart was to ensure that you would have good fortune."

I was taken aback by his sudden honesty. "Why didn't you admit that the night we went to dinner?"

"I was selfish. I didn't want to scare you away with the truth," he admitted as he took a step closer to me, his eyes sinking into the depths of my soul.

I took another breath in an attempt to keep my resolve. "You weren't a dream, were you?"

Without a word, he took another step closer.

"The dreams, in my bedroom. You were really there, and that kiss...it was real."

"It was real," he divulged, inching closer again. Instinctively, I stepped back, my back now flush with the brick wall of the alley.

Putting both hands against the wall on either side of my shoulders, he ensnared me before leaning toward my ear. "A dream come true, actually. I told you that we shared the same dream."

His breath caused goose bumps to trail down my neck.

"Do you not remember?" he teased.

"Yes, I remember." He chuckled lightly at my response, making my cheeks flush. The momentary embarrassment got my mind to spin again with another unanswered question. "Why come at night? When I'm not even awake?"

"I like to watch you sleep," he answered honestly, as if it was a totally natural behavior.

The rational side of my brain buzzed with warning bells. Why? How? This information should have scared me, but somehow, it didn't.

Instead, I asked another question. "Are you going to continue doing it?"

"Yes," Edward said seriously. "Unless you'd rather I not. But I can't guarantee that I'll be able to stay away."

"No!" The desperation in my voice even shocked me as I noticed Edwards' eyebrows rise in surprise. "Promise me something, though."

"Anything."

"Wake me. I want to know you're close by, and no longer a dream."

"Whatever you say." He nodded.

I began breathing heavily, the proximity of his body and memories about our sweet kisses forcing my blood to run through my veins at double speed. The smoldering fire, ignited by his touch now swept across my stomach. I swallowed hard, and his eyes followed how my tongue was leaving a wet mark on my lips. He bent down and pressed his lips against my forehead.

"Bella, don't," he whispered. "Don't do it that way. Do you even know what you're doing to me?"

"What?" I asked.

"Seducing me."

"I'm not seducing you." Honestly, his words surprised me.

"Yes, you are, and only God knows how it will work out between us!" He closed his eyes for a moment. "Bella, every second that you spend next to me, you are in danger, you take a chance with your -" He suddenly stopped short.

"I can't help it." My voice trembled with excitement. Feelings and desires overwhelmed me. "You say I'm in danger - that I'll only get hurt? But pushing me away will break me beyond repair. Not only my mind, but my soul." Bringing my hands up, I cupped his face, staring into his darkened eyes. "I am not afraid of you. Your words can't scare me away. There is no place safer for me then in your arms."

"Bella." His firm tone was a reprimand, as if I was a naive child.

"Stop! What could you do next? Going to stop a van with one hand again? Or do you have something new for me?" He smiled wryly and shook his head.

"Did you really think I forgot about that? One day, I will find answers to all my questions."

Now he frowned. "Don't jest..."

"I'm not!" I interrupted him.

"Don't play with the words..."

"I do not play."

"You don't know why..."

"Why is not important anymore," I interrupted him again.

"You don't understand..."

"I will."

"I tell you that..."

"Some things are better left unsaid." I took Edward up short again and again without letting him finish a single sentence.

"Bella."

"What?"

"Hush," he sighed and covered my lips with his mouth.

Edward pressed me against the brick wall with his weight, so that I could not stir. His tongue brushed the outline of my mouth, tasting, teasing and at last, parting my lips. Our kiss grew deeper, more frantic as our breaths came more erratic. My heart missed a beat. It was a frenzied kiss. It was a fight. It was a confrontation, which I lost, abandoning myself to the conqueror's mercy with pleasure.

I felt Edward's hand slide to my knee. He pulled my right leg on his hip abruptly, leaning further into my body, lifting me up a few centimeters. I gasped sharply, wasting the last air in my lungs.

His mouth left my tortured lips and slid to my neck. I panted for breath as hundreds of incomprehensible, unknown feelings raged inside of me. I was caught by the passion, the thirst for this man.

I could not figure him out, but there was one thing I was sure of. I had wanted to be with Edward since the very first second I'd seen him in Biology class. Moreover, I drew the evidence of my sureness from his kisses, caresses and words.

Abruptly he halted, his lips secured against my neck near my jugular vein. One hand squeezed my thigh while the other slipped from my waist up toward my chest. His palm traveled over the bodice of my blouse and lay down on the other side of my neck.

Time stopped. A muffled growl escaped his chest. Suddenly, he was away from me and at the opposite end of the alley.

"Edward?" I squeaked.

"Don't move! For Heaven's sake, stay there!" His panicked voice echoed in the dark narrow passage.

Ignoring him, I took a timid step toward him. "Edward?"

His voice sounded with an undisguised agony. "Keep back! Please, Bella, don't...move..."


	8. Chapter 8 Where the Universe begins

_**Chapter 8. Where the Universe begins**_

_**Bella's POV**_

I didn't understand anything. I could feel my legs faltering and my hands shaking, my restless heartbeat erratic. I tried to fix my emotions, but failed. A moment ago, I was crucified with Edward's body against the wall. Our passion almost burnt me to ashes.

Now I was back in the real world, but in my own reality. I still felt the weight of Edward's body, his lips sliding over my neck, his hands caressing me. I still heard our quiet breathing and my moans.

I raised my right hand to my collarbone, and my fingers found the torn collar of my blouse.

"Edward?" I took one step toward him.

"Please don't…" His voice was filled with naked agony.

He was so far from me now, in every way possible. It seemed like we'd stepped back in our relationship again. The moment I began thinking we could work this out, the strange, inconsistent Edward returned.

One second he kissed me, and the next one he moved over a distance of several feet. It reminded me of his behavior after the van accident. I couldn't help the slight anger I felt toward him.

"What's wrong with you?" I stayed put, obeying his words, which sounded like an order.

"Yeah, with me. Those are the right words," Edward said sarcastically.

He was angry with himself, I guessed.

"Just explain it to me." I took one more step towards him hastily. "What did I do wrong?"

Among other issues his words completely disconcerted me. I never kissed someone in a dark alley. Not just to kiss. I was ready to let him do whatever he wanted. Just then the realization frightened me. I didn't know how it came: one his touch freaked me out.

"I asked you. Not to move!" he growled. "Not you, Bella. It's dangerous for you to be with me."

"What nonsense are you talking about?" I cried.

"You don't know who I am." He smiled, "Or, better put, what I am. You can't even imagine what could have happened a few minutes ago! What I wanted to do to you!" he shouted. Now Edward threw my own naiveté in my face.

"What's your problem? Go ahead, tell me who you are! Or what you are!" I yelled in response.

Once I had asked him similar questions, and he told me not to search out the truth. However, I felt as if we were nearing the moment after which we would have to talk with less restraint.

"Bella - I can't," he said in a quiet, broken voice.

I gasped and turned, putting my palm on the wall, and then laid my head on back of the hand.

I kissed this man, but I knew nothing about him. He perplexed my mind up to now.

I did not know how long we stood there, when I suddenly felt cold Edward's fingers rubbing my burning cheek.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. I nuzzled against his chest and took a deep breath.

As always, Edward's arms lulled me, bringing calm and peacefulness with them.

**. . . . .**

Later, we were sitting leaning our backs against the brick wall. Through the thin silk of my blouse I felt the rough surface of the wall. My hand pointedly lay supine on my knee. I had some lingering hope that Edward would take my palm and stroke it with a calming gesture, but he didn't.

He didn't even look at me, just sat with his arms folded across his chest, studying the cloudless night sky. I squinted into the dark, too. The roof of heaven was clear and stellate; the moon waned. The picture slightly curled, as if I looked at the sky through a watery surface, blown by a light breeze. I blinked and recognized the tears.

"Bella," Edward broke the silence. By his tone, I realized that he was going to apologize to me. I sighed, anticipating a difficult conversation. "Look, you can't imagine what I've almost done."

"I can," I said quietly, my voice barely audible.

I remembered how my body responded to Edward's caress. If he had not stopped, I certainly would not have stopped him.

What had he meant saying that I didn't know what he was? If he wanted to say that he felt like a monster, well - he didn't force me.

He looked at me as if we spoke different languages.

"Okay, but what you're thinking of, could not happen in a dark, dirty alley," Edward began, but stammered over a word when I turned and stared straight at him. "I'll be extremely careful if we...uh...we…" Edward embarrassed? That was something new.

The fog in my mind finally cleared. I scrolled the events of this evening in my head. My own behavior shocked me, but I wasn't ashamed of it or my reaction to it. I knew that every time Edward touched me, I handed over the reins of my passion. The different feelings began to manage me. I was totally weak-willed with him.

"What about now? What should we do, Edward?" I blurted out.

He shrugged his shoulders and kept the silence. I imagined he was thinking about what I said before answered quietly. "I became a fatalist when I met you. Let's just go with the flow and see where it will bring us." I sighed. It looked like neither of us knew the answer to this question.

"Edward, I never have... I mean... not once…" I looked at him. Now he hung on my every word and did not interrupt me. I closed my eyes for a moment, wanting to escape from the scrutiny of his amber gaze. At last I took a deep breath and said clearly, "I have never been so close with a man." My voice seemed unnaturally loud to me. "I'm glad… you stopped… and…. you didn't let it happen like that... I don't know… um… I mean that's not like me..." I didn't know what else I could add to my little phrases, therefore I stopped speaking and prepared to hear his reaction.

"But your ex-boyfriends–"

"No ex-boyfriends." I blew out a breath and stared at Edward.

He looked at me like a kind of endangered species listed in the Red Book. Surely, virgins hadn't been the craze for a long time.

"I know… you probably think it's strange that–"

He covered my lips with his fingers. "I'm glad you told me."

I looked away; what had I expected? "I'm happy" or "I'm not happy" or "I don't care."

"It's getting late. We should head back to Forks," Edward shunted the conversation onto another topic.

He stood up and stretched out his hand to me. I grasped it firmly and was suddenly on my feet and in his arms.

He pulled me to him and I felt his lips on mine.

Edward took a deep breath. "Easier already," he said, as if he tried to prove something to himself, and then he kissed me again.

**. . . . .**

Edward hailed a taxi. Apparently, we had walked a decent distance from the club. I could feel my legs faltering, so I sat in the car with a happy sigh.

Edward frowned, apparently analyzing the events of the evening, while I scrolled through our last conversation in my mind again and again.

Had I understood him correctly? He had meant sex, hadn't he? Now I felt as though we had been talking about different things.

"Look who's back," Mike shouted to us, as soon as we got out of the taxi at the club.

Edward gallantly held out his hand to me while I crawled out of the car with my wobbly legs. I hoped I did not look like those lovers of the night life who we met today.

"You're just in time. We're going to leave," Mike added when we reached the parking lot.

"We'd already decided not to wait for you," Lauren hissed through her clenched teeth.

Going to Tyler, she grabbed his hand and literally dragged the guy to his car, apparently wanting to leave the parking lot quickly.

Jessica was hanging around Mike's crowded car. Eric had at least three vacant seats in his car, but Jess, apparently, wasn't set to go home in comfort. We suggested Angela and Ben come with us, and they gladly agreed.

"Did you have fun?" I asked as we left the club parking lot.

I turned my head around to see my classmates nestling on the back seat of the car. I looked out of the corner of my eye at now steadily Edward drove along. We ripped pretty quickly, and soon the cars of our classmates were streets behind us.

"Not bad," Angela said, l, ,ooking at Ben. "I have no experience in such places, so I really don't know if this club is good or not." She gave a glance to Ben again, as if she wanted to know his opinion.

I noticed that he was attracted to Angela, but he was afraid to show it to her. They really found each other. Backward lovers. Yes, it was easy to give advice to other people, but who would give me some idea of how to behave myself with Edward? Although I always preferred to deal with my own problems. The fact that the things happening between Edward and me were not a problem of universal scale, at least, I viewed it in a different light.

I looked at Edward's chiseled profile. He stared at the dark lanes of the road, speeding through the night toward Forks. The motor roared again, and we picked up speed.

"Wow, Edward, you are a crazy driver!" Ben looked at Edward delightedly.

"I don't like to creep along at a snail's pace." Edward smiled. "The total displacement is 2.5." Ben whistled.

"Please, do be careful with the car," I interrupted. "It's a little bit scary. The rain ended not so long ago, the road is still wet and slick."

"Don't worry. I'm a good driver," Edward replied smugly, but slowed down a little, which caused an annoyed sigh from Ben's side.

Oh, these men and their love for the fast ride and pretty, cars! I couldn't understand it. However, I believed in Edward. Whatever he did, it all worked out excellently. Driving a car. Kissing me...

I felt myself blushing, and tried to throw away the gathering memories.

Gradually, the tranquil roar of the engine and monotonous forest landscape passing outside the car's window lulled me, and I didn't notice when I fell into a chaotic but pleasant sleep.

**. . . . .**

A light touch of cold lips to my temple woke me up. I slowly opened my heavy eyelids and looked at a smiling Edward. He was in a good mood again–the irises of his eyes shone and became lighter.

"Oh, I fell asleep?" My voice sounded unusually thick.

He smiled wider, and his eyes sparkled with the laughter he held back. I raised my hand and smoothed out my hair. I probably looked like a disheveled bird. Apparently my look set him laughing.

"I'll be waiting for you near the school tomorrow."

"Okay" I murmured. So our conversation didn't upend our relationship.

_Oh!_ I thought and hesitated a little. Were we in relationship then?

Sometimes guys seemed like creatures from another planet to me. Unfortunately, I wasn't a mind-reader and I couldn't gain insight to Edward's thoughts to see how he imagined our relationship.

We went to the steps of my house. I hesitated and didn't hurry to go inside.

"Good night, my Bella," Edward said.

My heart skipped a beat. Here was the answer to my question about our relationship. He said, "My Bella." I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Good night, Edward," I replied, opened the door and went in the house.

_**Edward's POV**_

A wide branch of the spreading tree was very comfortable for sitting. It seemed this place was created for reflection and contemplation. Before Bella came into my life, every day was like the previous one. For so many years of my existence I had learned to read people I hadn't need to read their minds to understand what they were thinking about. It was enough to simply look at their faces. Women usually thought about marriage and children, men about money and careers, teenagers about love and sex.

The women paid attention to me, and I definitely knew I could have any of them at any time. But was it a great victory over an opponent, whose mind I could read as my own? I was unbearably bored. Bella altered my world beyond recognition. In a mysterious way, I was seventeen years old all over again. I really was seventeen years old, and I was in love with the most beautiful girl in the world. And as if that was not enough, she loved me in return.

Only her existence justified the almost one hundred years of my solitude. The words of love never spoken aloud were filling the air around me. She loved me. She was mine. Only for me.

I frowned, remembering what almost happened today in that alley.

I remembered how I pressed her lips with mine; my lips and my hands forgot about tenderness. I wanted her. I demanded her body. I insisted ... My tongue opened her mouth, and the enthusiasm with which she answered me took the last traces of my control.

I remembered how my hand clutched her knee, as I abruptly threw her legs around my thigh, pressing her hard against the wall, feeling every curve, every line of her body. My lips slid over her skin.

"Edward," she groaned.

"Bella," I inhaled inadvertently, and then stunned.

Her scent was so strong that it drove me insane. It became even stronger, though it seemed impossible, but it changed, became deeper. A very different scent mingled with it. This scent was harsh, deep, unique. It had no less appeal than the scent of her blood. It was the smell of her passion. These two odors merged into one, causing almost a physical pain. In that second I understood why we killed our victims in a moment of their highest pleasure. This made the taste of their blood unbearably beautiful. The higher their pleasure, the sweeter the blood. At that moment the blood in their veins was running in its original, wild form and there was nothing to do but to bite the thin skin and get to our own pleasure.

The smell of Bella's blood was mixed with her desire. It changed me and the world around me. At that time I was no longer the man who loved a girl with gentle and reverent love. I became the man I really was. A vampire who seduced and used his victim for this purpose all that he had: his passion, his strength and his venom. And Bella surrendered.

And I was led only by my desire and my thirst. I tried to catch the already distorted reality with the edge of my dying human consciousness. The hardest part was tearing away my hands from her.

But I was able to control myself. I overcame the thirst yet again, but I knew this wasn't my last battle over that.

* * *

**Sorry for the delay in updates. I really hate to do it. **

**Review please. It's the only way to let me know that people are reading this!**

**The next chap will be about Edward's past, ****the last day**** of his human life.**


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